Fourth of July Leftovers

An unfortunate traffic jam was not the only thing I encountered at Giant on Saturday .... behold, cupcake creations! Yes, there really are cupcakes under the pounds of frosting and food coloring.

Real Housewives of DC... Do we have to?

Apparently, the Real Housewives franchise wants some DC action.

I'm willing to wager that this show falls apart.

I'm also willing to nominate my friend DS to participate, since she has a house and a husband and a cat. And maybe ArtBart and I will participate, too, since they have a thing for letting unmarried people on these shows anyhow. They, like Beyonce, love the single ladies. And then DS and I will gang up on ArtBart and start a fight in front of DCUSA, probably over a man or some shoes, and then we'll hang out at Commonwealth and talk about it and then we'll all go home and talk about it some more... and play Dance Dance Revolution or maybe Sega while drinking red wine from d'vines.

Or... Bravo could just get some Georgetown/Bethesda/Cleveland Park/McLean botox beasts whose husbands have no concept of what their likely estranged wives just signed them up for. Yeah, that sounds more like it.

Sketchy Turtle Sales in CH!

Mr. T in DC has the scoop on some shady baby turtle sales going on in Columbia Heights. It's about as unsafe as it gets, for both turtle and human alike, to have out of a box curbside turtle sales, so if you see turtle man - say something about turtle man (to the police, human society, the kid buying the turtle, whatever).

And now lets get to the subheadline of this turtle story: William Jordan Terrorizes Columbia Heights Forums!

You can't have a CH Forum Chat without a BroNat disagreement these days, and the turtle sales forum discussion is no different. Check out the thread here. BroNat is William Jordan, ANC Commissioner and the man with something to say about everything. Like the time he accused this blogger of "civic laziness" for asking if someone could help us cover ANC meetings then suggested I "send someone," which is what I was trying to do when I asked if someone could help us cover ANC meetings. THANKS FOR THE TIP BRONAT.

Also - anyone want to help this blog cover ANC meetings? We'll take notes and updates from any regular attendee.

We'll take other stuff, too, like recipes - but only if you give them funny Columbia Heights names, or restaurant reviews, or event announcements, or rants - we like rants. TheHeightsLife@gmail.com.

Is Columbia Heights in US Weekly Far Behind?

Sure, the President has played hoops at the local Washington Sports Club, but it's certainly something when Hollywood actresses (and moms), a legendary children's rights advocate, and the First Lady of DC come to the neighborhood. Yesterday Keri Russell (total girl crush going back to her "Felicity" days), Jessica Alba, Regina King, and Ali Wentworth, along with Michelle Fenty and Marian Wright-Edelman, celebrated Child Watch Day at the Unity Health Care Upper Cardozo Clinic on 14th Street. At the clinic they met with families on the need to improve the access to health care for children.

Coverage from DCist, People, and the Children's Defense Fund.

Photos from the Highland Park vs. Allegro apartment showdown

CH Email List Fight! Tivoli North! Columbia Heights! Adams Morgan East!

The CH Yahoo! Group is aghast at an old proposal that has resurfaced to name the northern section of Columbia Heights, "Tivoli North."

William Jordan posted some documents. To read the ongoing exchange, check out the Yahoo! Group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/columbia_heights/.

Some explanation from William Jordan, ANC Commissioner for Ward 1A05:

While most Columbia Heights residents and other stakeholders did not know about the effort to rebrand/rename a portion of Columbia Heights to Tivoli North the CM and city officials did as they funded the plan to do so. Residents did not know because the city did not follow its own process for transparency and community involvement. I've attached the 2007 plan which should have had full public vetting but did not which started this process. DCUSA TIF/DHCD CDBG funds are likely paying for this process.

And an interesting email excerpt from a concerned citizen:

Back in the old days - pre-subway - few would even admit to living in Columbia Heights so Real Estate agents called the 14 to 16 hundred blocks of Columbia Heights "Mt. Pleasant East" or "Adams Morgan East", for instance.

Then comes the subway and these Balkanization attempts begin - North, South, East, West (and who knows what else) Columbia Heights.

And now "Tivoli North"?? Many of us fought long and hard to try to have the Tivoli Theater restored to its former glory. We failed. The City catered to special interests and gutted the Tivoli and replaced the former soaring space into a dinky little modern theater and offices.

Free Pants at the Metro!

If you've recently lost your pants, Mr. T found them.

Another change for Park Triangle public space

The Columbia Heights Streetscape project continues to change the public area in front of the Park Triangle retail. It went from dusty gravel to no pedestrian access to nice bricks to again no pedestrian access in less than a year. Now is looks like the construction of the civic plaza with fountain is finally officially underway. Check out the project's website for updates - http://www.columbiaheights-streetscape.com/index.htm.

Like that one time when Wonderland had a line?

The Wonderland, home of our favorite beer garden for weekends like these, is still trying to figure out how to keep the crowd and neighborhood happy all at the same time.

Last night they had a beer garden monitor who kept telling people it was "over capacity." He didn't seem to have an actual calculus for determining "capacity" and he couldn't control people going out the front door to smoke, but it was a little annoying, if understandable. Like that one time when the Wonderland had a line. A line!

It will be interesting to see how the attempts at control and balance with the neighbors develop with new night spots coming.

We heard from Room 11 that they should be opening within weeks.

CH Listserve Snowball Fight!

The other day there was an all out listserv BRAWL over ice and alleys.

Initial Post:

Hello Neighbors,

When you shovel and salt your front porches/steps to remove the snow and ice, please also shovel and salt the alley behind your home. It is extremely helpful to those who use the alley to access parking. Thanks.

Response:

Excuse me - you want me to shovel the alley so you can park your car? I think your expectations are extreme and slightly self centered.

First off, I do not think any DC code even suggests that the alley behind my house is my responsibility to shovel. The sidewalk in front is another matter - all you mention is porches and steps - and I notice on my block that the people who park their cars in their yards from the alley in general do not bother with shoveling the sidewalk in front of their houses - which IS required by DC code within 8 hours of the end of the snowfall - please correct me if I am wrong.

My attitude is if you want a shoveled alley - do it yourself and spare me your helpful attitude.

Let us all take sides now - to the comments section!

Is DC Breaking? Pipes, Trains and Power!

Problems problems problems!

What's with DC over the last few days. It's like the whole place is breaking, and in Columbia Heights, we've had our fair share of failures!

Tuesday night, there was a major pipe problem. Part of Irving Street right before you hit 14th was ripped open to repair the link, making the intersection into a river, briefly. The result was a few waterless hours for parts of the neighborhood.

Then, earlier today a swath of DC endured a power outage. I was at work, but it's my understanding that Columbia Heights felt the impact.

And now - the Green/Yellow line is totally busted. Not to mention Orange/Blue in total disrepair all day. Trains coming up here are sharing a track from Mt. Vernon Square to... maybe U Street? The damage was between Mt. Vernon and Shaw/Howard.

Alas - I'd like to go back to my original theory and say the Inauguration did it. It took a few weeks until we saw the full impact, but really - all those people broke our stuff!

Valentine's Day - Height Style?

Sorry - we suck at posting. I blame it on the distraction that is Thumb Cat: www.thumbcat.blogspot.com.

Anyhow, we just want to ask this - Valentine's day, WTF? Since when did this holiday become an institution, Christmas style. Sure - it's always been obnoxious. But does the Heights, of all places, need a special menu for two? And seriously, at 11:20PM on Friday the 13th when having my tipsy ass dumped by a tax on 14th and Irving, the last thing I would expect to see is this:


But there it was - in all it's tacky Valentine's Day glory. What is this world coming to? And even if this world is coming to that - does Columbia Heights really need to participate? Can't we leave this hearts and candy shit to NoVa?

DCUSA Readies for Holiday Shoppers

The holiday shopping season has arrived at DCUSA. Snowflake lights cascade over the escalators; a small stereo plays Christmas music on the lower level (but whatever was playing at 7 am this morning, it was quite depressing); and Port-a-Johns are coming for Black Friday shoppers. Brags Councilman Jim Graham:

I worked with Metro/WMATA to secure the early opening of Metro on Friday at 4 a.m. instead of the usual time of 5 a.m. Other plans include store specific lines for early bird shoppers, access to restrooms before stores open and street entertainers.

 
DCist has more info.

Quick Thoughts

-         Went to Five Guys last week and it was good, obviously.

-         Construction on The Children's Place at DC USA has started. The kids clothing store is located next to Staples.

-         The paper is off the windows at Kenyon Cleaners and a sewing machine is set up.

-         Red Rocks celebrated its one-year anniversary over the weekend.

-         Columbia Heights chicken?!

Rough Friday night?

Has this ever happened to anyone? Or perhaps this is one of our readers? On Saturday morning around 7:30 am, I found a guy sleeping on the front stoop of my building. No shirt, no shoes, but cell phone in hand. We had a lovely conversation:

ArtBart: Excuse me, do you live here?
Dude: No, do you?
ArtBart: Yeah.
Dude: Where am I?
ArtBart: Washington, DC.
Dude: [obviously] No, shit.
ArtBart: You’re in Columbia Heights.
Dude: Oh. [stands up, stumbles to the sidewalk and starts making a call on his cell phone]

It was a strange way to start the day. But the real question is, how did this guy get there? He didn’t appear to be a victim of mugging or robbery. Was it a prank pulled by friends on a passed-out drunk after a house party? Or did he get kicked out of bed? Maybe he just wanted to sleep in the great outdoors of Columbia Heights?

WTF: The Highland Park lobby

The best (read most ridiculous) website ever describes it as a "modern lobby with color-changing lighted 3form® walls." I describe it simply as, is this really necessary? While Washington has its share of gorgeous, albeit overpriced, apartment buildings and their equally luxe lobbies, the lobby for Highland Park is unlike any other.

Walking east on Irving a few nights ago, I wondered where the odd neon lights reflecting on the sidewalk and off the dark DCUSA storefronts was coming from. It was the Highland Park lobby, obviously, with a design aesthetic more akin to Miami Beach or nightclub set from an old episode of Alias. Not only are there color-changing walls and DWR couches, but there are suspended acrylic ball chairs, bamboo shoots, and orchids. My camera phone pictures capture only a taste of the mod-ness, so take a moment and stop to watch the pretty lights and experience the trippiness of it all.