Monday, September 15, 2008

SHOWDOWN! Starbucks v. Starbucks

That's right, it's time for a SHOWDOWN! among the Columbia Heights excess. One Starbucks, inevitable. But TWO Starbucks coffee shops... within about 100 yards of each other? A wee bit tragic. Thus, this SHOWDOWN! shall be a battle to the death! Or... maybe, given where the company is heading, one of those battles where they stab each other simultaneously and we end up with no Starbucks at all. Anyhow... let's get going.

Category 1: Location
One Starbucks is right on 14th, the other is nestled in Target. Clearly 14th is easier to access when you don't need something from Target. However... when don't you need something from Target? And aren't you better off shopping with a little caffeine kick? I know it SEEMS like 14th is best for us all, but I think the Target Starbies is onto something, because and only because I can always use a trip to Target. Winner: Starbucks (Target)

Category 2: Service
Recently, every Starbucks in the United States shut down to retrain their employees on how to make a proper latte. For a few weeks, I thought, 'Hey, things are better here!' But a few months have passed now, and for some reason every single time i order from the 14th street 'bucks, the barista spills crap down the side of my drink and I end up with two cups. I hate having two cups. However, despite the recent flaws, 14th 'bucks is about 1.3 million times faster than the Target 'bucks, even if the line is twice as long. Speed is king when coffee is on the line. Winner: Starbucks (14th)

Category 3: Ambiance
Our 14th street coffee haven has it. The latest production from a Starbucks artist (yuck, I know, but they try), plus chairs, tables, outside seating, and wireless. In Target, the Starbies space is shared with some soda fountains and Pizza Hut cafeteria style dining space. I think this category settles it. Winner: Starbucks (14th)

So if the company is going south and we only get to keep one, The Heights Life has declared the best Starbucks is the original 14th Street version. However, if we had it our way... two Sticky Fingers instead?

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