Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Butts on Poles: A Rant

Please, my fellow commuters, get your butts and backs off my pole.

I'm aware that the folks at WMATA have been playing with the configurations of our metro cars for years now, but no matter what they do the problem of butts on my pole will not go away.

Let me explain... there are poles on the metro. They are there for standing commuters to hold while the train is in motion. When everyone just places a hand on the pole, up to five or six people can easily crowd one pole, and not have to reach up for the high bar (thus exposing the whole train to their pit stank).

BUT - DC commuters are leaners. And this leaning on the poles has two results:

1. Butt contamination, and
2. The pole ceases to serve anyone but the leaner. The pole-contaminating leaner.

This problem is especially prevalent on the car configuration on the Green Line. The wall poll that curves below the map deceives people. Sure, the low part IS good for leaning, but get your junk off that high part! These cars have no other center polls (HUGE mistake WMATA, almost as bad as your butt leaning pads config.), and the high part of the poll is a necessity for the shorties. I'm not even a shorty, but it's not like they don't have rights! And it's not like ANYONE should hold the high bar after a long day at work. ALAS! Your 10 minutes of leaning, fellow commuter, is RUINING my night! GET OFF MY POLE.

And with that, I have photos - one of a pole-o-phile, and another of a pole in its natural form. Enjoy.


Marc said...

I must admit, I lean, but only in situations where riders are scarce and not in need of poles. I would like to point out, however, that no one holds the pole below my midsection, which is why I wouldn't be concerned with befouling a pole; no one grabs there. I do make a concerted effort when forced to hold on to grab for the highest most point, since evolution may have made me taller as to avoid contamination created by those lower to the ground.

washwords said...

ha ha ha. this is great. I could (and am kinda trying to) write a book about metro misbehavior. my favorites are the peeps who just clusterf*ck around right in everybody's where, when there's clearly space to move into would they merely try! anyway, thanks for "listening" / letting me know i'm not the only snark out there. See ya on the green line.