Liveblogging as we fill out our police citizen survey form...
ArtBart 6:49PM: There's three emails I look forward to every morning on my bus ride... 1. New York Times headlines, 2. Washington Post headlines, and 3. 3D Substation listserv.
Spud Lite 6:50PM: So what's the first question?
ArtBart 6:50PM: "Residency: Own, Rent, Visitor." Why would a visitor get this survey about living in this neighborhood?
Spud Lite 6:51PM: So what's the second question?
ArtBart 6:51PM: You know what would be really fun? To fill this out as though you were William Jordan.
Spud Lite 6:51PM: Maybe we should do that.
ArtBart 6:51PM: But I actually care that the MPD wants my opinion.
Spud Lite 6:52PM: Whatever.
ArtBart 6:52PM: "How are we doing? Check the box that best describes how you feel about the MPD and the job we are doing: Excellent, good, fair, poor, don't know." I have to put fair.
Spud Lite 6:53PM: Dude, people got mugged in the metro station during rush hour and you want to put fair?
ArtBart 6:53PM: It's not their fault.
Spud Lite 6:53PM: But who's fault is it? Nobody should be getting mugged like that.
ArtBart 6:53PM: It's the hoodlums fault. It's just bored kids. "What would you like to see the police department concentrate on in your area? Check all that apply - burglaries, auto thefts, traffic violations, thefts from autos, vandalism, loitering, loud parties, drugs."
Spud Lite 6:55PM: Put loud parties.
ArtBart 6:55PM: I'm answering this truthfully! So loud parties is out, drugs are out.
Spud Lite 6:55PM: You like drugs?
ArtBart 6:55PM: The drug war does not work. I don't care about a little crack. Loitering could be connected to truancy... I'm putting down community policing and telling them I miss the cop on the Segway.
Spud Lite 6:56PM: Yeah, I like Segway cops better than horse cops.
ArtBart 6:57PM: "How often do you walk, run or bike in your neighborhood?" Do you think they mean physical activity, or just like - walking around. I'll say frequently for daytime, and infrequently for after 12AM because really, we only walk home from the Wonderland that late about twice a week.
Spud Lite 6:58PM: What would William Jordan do?
ArtBart 6:58PM: "Personal involvement: Check all that you would do... report suspicious activity, report crime, assist as a witness, assist a person in need of help, testify against a criminal, not get involved."
Spud Lite 6:59PM: Why didn't you circle "testify against a criminal."
ArtBart 7:00PM: I would do that, but what if it doesn't go trial? I would do that before I would assist as a witness.
Spud Lite 7:00PM: Aren't they the same thing?
ArtBart 7:00PM: No, you can assist as a witness and it wouldn't go to trial. Assist as a witness could also be that someone you knew went on trial for a drug charge and you're going to act as a character witness. I'll circle all of them except "not get involved."
Spud Lite 7:01PM: What's next? What would William Jordan do?
ArtBart 7:02PM: "Circle the word that represents your level of concern for the following questions." I'm not concerned that my car will get stolen... now watch, my car just got stolen. Oh! Awesome! "How would you like to see us better serve you in your neighborhood? Cruiser patrol, foot patrol, bicylce patrol, acceptable as is." I'm going to do foot patrol, police need to get out of the cars.
Spud Lite 7:03PM: Put down that I want William Jordan on a Segway patrol.
ArtBart 7:04PM: "What is your perception regarding the importance of the following existing services?" I fully believe in the power of after school programs.
Spud Lite 7:04PM: Did you do D.A.R.E.?
ArtBart 7:05PM: No, we only had MADD, or SADD... one time my friends played corpses in this role play and they had to lay in body bags in 80 degree heat so fake helicopters could rescue them.
Spud Lite 7:05PM: No D.A.R.E.? That explains why you said you like crack.
ArtBart 7:06PM: Traffic enforcement can be good... Since I know how much you like your D.A.R.E. t-shirt, I'll put that as very important. "Have you had contact with a MPD officer within the last year?"
Spud Lite 7:07PM: Remember that time we came home drunk and saw a guy getting beat up in the alley and I called the cops?
ArtBart 7:08PM: But we didn't actually talk to the police. "Additional comments and suggestions that you feel will improve the effort of the MPD in serving you and your community."
Spud Lite 7:08PM: What would William Jordan do?